Joke Stuff - Great catches out there

There are some great catches out there. Exerts from Irish personal adds.

1. Grossly overweight Louth turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23 stone, Gemini, seeks nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion. Must have own car and be willing to travel. Box 09/08

2. Galway man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered. Box06/03

3. Heavy drinker, 35, Cork area, seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in pints, fags, Glasgow Celtic football club and starting scraps on Patrick Street at three in the morning. Box 73/82.

4. Bitter, disillusioned Kerryman lately rejected by long-time fiancée seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box 53/41

5. Ginger-haired Meath trouble-maker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more. Box 84/87

6. Artistic Clare woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach, writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes, seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey. Strong stomach essential. Box 12/32

7. Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social functions. References required. No timewasters. Box 23/45

8. Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard living in a damp cottage in the arse end of Donegal seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with big chest. Box 40/27

9. Devil-worshiper, Offaly area, seeks like minded lady for wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and slaughtering dogs in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon. Box52/07

10. Attractive brunette, Macroom area, winner of Miss Wrangler competition at Jolene's Nightclub, Macroom, in September 1978, seeks nostalgic man who's not afraid to cry, for long nights spent comfort-drinking and listening to old Abba records. Please, Please! Box 30/41

11. Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm

Life at war captured through the eyes of soldiers

Soldiers have been filming themselves on duty in Afghanistan for years. The UK Ministry of Defence has now released this powerful and uncensored footage to the BBC for a documentary series coming out on 7 Jun. See the BBC web site for more. Link
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B-17 Flying Fortress conservation work begins

A conservation team has begun a 16-month project to transform a World War II American bomber.

The B-17 Flying Fortress, Mary Alice, had been on display at the American Air Museum, part of Imperial War Museum (IWM) Duxford, in Cambridgeshire.

See the BBC web site for more info. Link
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Friday Humour

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the
Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favor?'

'Of course, child. What may I do for you?'

'Well, I bought an expensive women's electronic hair dryer for my
mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Custom's limit,
and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could
carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?'

'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not
lie.'

'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.
The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'

'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.'

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you
have to declare from your waist to the floor?'

'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but
which is, to date, unused.'

Roaring with laughter, the official said,

'Go ahead, Father. -- Next!'

Navy drops bombs off Scottish coast

The far north-west tip of Britain is so remote that for the past 100 years it has been used by the military as a bombing range.

Garvie Island, off the Scottish coast is the only place in Europe where British and Nato forces can drop live 1000lb bombs. See the BBC web site for more. Link
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Capturing the Enigma: 70 years on

70 years ago today, the Royal Navy captured U-Boat 110, an event which helped Britain crack the German's secret Enigma code during World War II.

With the help of the former naval officer who boarded the U-boat, our correspondent Mike Thomson reports on a remarkable event which may have shortened the war by as much as two years.

This is well worth listening to. Link
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Aerial surveys of Viking shipyard on Skye

This is quite an interesting article about a 12th Century Viking shipbuilding site on Skye. Link
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Dambusters: Cambridge scientists recreate daring World War Two raid

The development of a bouncing bomb - dropped at exactly 60ft above water in order to destroy German dams - was a testament to wartime Britain's innovation, daring and courage.
But when the calculations and plans for the Dambuster raids were lost in a flood in the 1960s, it seemed the secrets of the raids had disappeared with them.
Now a team of scientists from Cambridge University has painstakingly recreated the bomb and re-enacted its path over water, filming the results for a documentary. Link
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Prof Richard Holmes, acclaimed military historian, dies

It is with some sadness that I read this morning on the BBC web that Prof Richard Holmes has died. Over the years I have greatly enjoyed watching many of his programmes. Link
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