What is Celibacy?
Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances. While attending a Marriage Renewal Weekend, Bill and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other..."
He then addressed the men, 'Can you name and describe your wife's favourite flower?'
Bill leaned over, touched Ann's arm gently, and whispered, 'It's Tesco's self-raising isn't it?'
And thus began Bill's life of celibacy...
Sweet Tea (For all you male chauvinists out there)
A woman goes to the doctor, beaten Black and Blue.
Doctor: "What happened?"
Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp."
Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth but don't swallow. Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes to bed and is asleep."
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn't touch me!"
Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"